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[forasecond]

@ callidus » "Make it quick."

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0.01 Luther

0.03 Allison

Harry

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Comments

[thecoolerloki]

It is a frigid wasteland and the only people are frost giants, who live short and meaningless lives, refusing to learn from their past failures. They value physical strength and size alone.

Oh, and the food sucks.

[forasecond]

I ended up... some version of okay in the end, I guess. But I think there are some pretty large swaths of the 45 years I was stuck I would have taken shitty people to none at all.

Better than cockroaches and spoiled canned goods?

[thecoolerloki]

A post-apocalypse situation then? I could go either way between that and Jotunheim, seeing as cockroaches are far better conversation partners than my father.

[forasecond]

Exactly that.

No one ever wants to win the shitty father lottery, but a lot of us do anyway, huh?

[thecoolerloki]

Aye, I won it twice.

[forasecond]

Well, shit.

[thecoolerloki]

I did warn you that you could not beat me in terms of complicated circumstances.

[forasecond]

It's practically cheating when you're comparing thousands of years vs not even a century, though. Not even really a contest, just based on numbers.

[thecoolerloki]

But my thousands of years are equivalent to a century. Stories don't work off of numbers and science, after all.

Think of it this way, I was born to a terrible father. He died when I was a child, and I was adopted into another family. Unfortunately, that family also had its issues, to say the least.

What does any of that have to do with the literal years? I was a child for all of it, younger than I am now.

[forasecond]

Stories don't, but statistics do. Longer life, more experience. More wins, more triumphs. More tragedies, more trauma. It's pretty simple.

Not that I think those things are...best judged by numbers, and I'm not really gunning for the gold in the Trauma Olympics, here. I just like numbers better. They're easy. They're clean.

[thecoolerloki]

But it's only longer by your scale, by your observation of the story. Otherwise it simply is, and it is not easy or clean.

I am only thousands of years old because humans decided I must be. It's not as if I have a Midgardian birth certificate.

[forasecond]

You’re the one that told me arguably thousands of years old. I’m only going by what you told me yourself— I had no reason to expect that otherwise.

But I’ll give you this much: None of it is actually easy. But us humans? We're pretty good at lying to ourselves.

[thecoolerloki]

I'm the god of lies. So duh.

[forasecond]

Makes me wonder how many of the myths that get passed around about you are true.

[thecoolerloki]

🤫

[forasecond]

Come on.
Level with me.

Giving birth to the eight-legged horse … true or false?

[thecoolerloki]

True, from what I've heard. Access to my memory only extends to my apparent age, though, so you see the issue there.

[forasecond]

Are you fucking with me?

Well, that’s a shit deal.

[thecoolerloki]

There wasn't much of value in the old man's brain. Still, I admit there are times where I find myself wondering why he acted as he did, or same as you, how accurate the stories of my exploits are.

[forasecond]

There’s some pretty wild stuff out there. It’s valid to question it.

[thecoolerloki]

In less depressing topics, does your sister permit you to go to bars? Mine will not. :/

[forasecond]

Allison wouldn’t care, but bartenders, owners, & bouncers tend to stop any attempt of it.

[thecoolerloki]

I nearly convinced an owner, but the bouncer is literally my sister and she DOES care.

[forasecond]

That’s unfortunate.

[thecoolerloki]

I have little interest in alcohol, but it is the principle of the thing. The woes of theoretically being 13.