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[forasecond]

@ callidus » "Make it quick."

speed dial

0.01 Luther

0.03 Allison

Harry

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Comments

[forasecond]

Well, shit.

[thecoolerloki]

I did warn you that you could not beat me in terms of complicated circumstances.

[forasecond]

It's practically cheating when you're comparing thousands of years vs not even a century, though. Not even really a contest, just based on numbers.

[thecoolerloki]

But my thousands of years are equivalent to a century. Stories don't work off of numbers and science, after all.

Think of it this way, I was born to a terrible father. He died when I was a child, and I was adopted into another family. Unfortunately, that family also had its issues, to say the least.

What does any of that have to do with the literal years? I was a child for all of it, younger than I am now.

[forasecond]

Stories don't, but statistics do. Longer life, more experience. More wins, more triumphs. More tragedies, more trauma. It's pretty simple.

Not that I think those things are...best judged by numbers, and I'm not really gunning for the gold in the Trauma Olympics, here. I just like numbers better. They're easy. They're clean.

[thecoolerloki]

But it's only longer by your scale, by your observation of the story. Otherwise it simply is, and it is not easy or clean.

I am only thousands of years old because humans decided I must be. It's not as if I have a Midgardian birth certificate.

[forasecond]

You’re the one that told me arguably thousands of years old. I’m only going by what you told me yourself— I had no reason to expect that otherwise.

But I’ll give you this much: None of it is actually easy. But us humans? We're pretty good at lying to ourselves.

[thecoolerloki]

I'm the god of lies. So duh.

[forasecond]

Makes me wonder how many of the myths that get passed around about you are true.

[thecoolerloki]

🤫

[forasecond]

Come on.
Level with me.

Giving birth to the eight-legged horse … true or false?

[thecoolerloki]

True, from what I've heard. Access to my memory only extends to my apparent age, though, so you see the issue there.

[forasecond]

Are you fucking with me?

Well, that’s a shit deal.

[thecoolerloki]

There wasn't much of value in the old man's brain. Still, I admit there are times where I find myself wondering why he acted as he did, or same as you, how accurate the stories of my exploits are.

[forasecond]

There’s some pretty wild stuff out there. It’s valid to question it.

[thecoolerloki]

In less depressing topics, does your sister permit you to go to bars? Mine will not. :/

[forasecond]

Allison wouldn’t care, but bartenders, owners, & bouncers tend to stop any attempt of it.

[thecoolerloki]

I nearly convinced an owner, but the bouncer is literally my sister and she DOES care.

[forasecond]

That’s unfortunate.

[thecoolerloki]

I have little interest in alcohol, but it is the principle of the thing. The woes of theoretically being 13.

[forasecond]

I get that. It’s annoying, all the things we’re not afforded solely because of our apparent age— regardless of what the truth is.

[thecoolerloki]

Have you ever attempted to make yourself appear older?

[forasecond]

Other than a few basic clothing choices, etc... it's not exactly in my capabilities.

I suppose I could try to talk Allison into some makeup, though I'm not sure if SFX makeup is a thing she can do herself.

[thecoolerloki]

I could cast an illusory spell on your visage, if you so wished.

In my case, I've shapeshifted older before, but oddly those forms do not feel like my own.

[forasecond]

I appreciate the offer, but I'm good for now.

Something about you knowing it's not real probably takes away from it, somehow, huh?