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[forasecond]

@ callidus » "Make it quick."

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Harry

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sliding into his instagram DMs

[thecoolerloki]

HEWWO
I am arguably thousands of years old, a teenager of indeterminate age, and 2 years old at the very same time. Reincarnation FTW!

[forasecond]

Impressive.

My consciousness is 58, my body is 13. By birth year, if I were in the proper timeline, I'd be 29., but going strictly by the year here, October 1st would make me 33.

It's a headache and a half.

[thecoolerloki]

MOOD

This particular version of my consciousness is only a few years old as I previously stated, but clearly it is not a toddler messaging you. I appear around 13 in Midgardian terms, but my memories encompass hundreds of years(ie: 13 in Asgardian terms).

Are you attending school in this realm? I was told I had to, and that I had to have a legal guardian as well.

[forasecond]

I was dealing with a truancy officer at one point, It was annoying for a while and they were harassing my sister since she's the "older" closest-of-kin, but I managed to talk them into letting me test out. It was pretty easy to prove I don't need high school coursework when I can work out quantum equations once they shut up for five minutes and listened to what I was saying.

[thecoolerloki]

I asked my elder self(EVEN MORE COMPLICATED LMAO) to assist with such matters, but he forced me to live with an old wizard who takes care of the guardianship and education issues.

But I do still attend the superhero school they have set up here. However, I do so undercover as a means of gathering information!

[forasecond]

There are several…versions of you around here, aren’t there? And no paradox psychosis in any of you? Fascinating.

Is that old wizard by the name of Strange?

What kind of information do you think you’ll leverage out of a bunch of teenagers?

[thecoolerloki]

Three total, two of us being from the same universe. What psychosis there is has little to do with paradoxes.

The very same! And actually, one can learn a good deal from seeing what a society decides to teach its youth. What they value, what hopes and expectations they hold for the future generation, and how they twist the stories of their past.

Aside from that, it was teenagers who opened up a dimensional rift in Sunset Falls, teenagers who caused those past shenanigans presented at the Expo, and teenagers who created the necessity for a secret flying school.

[forasecond]

There are... side-effects that aren't great to go through if I come into contact with another version of me.

I've met him- at least, over the network.

[It was brief, and nothing very detailed. Though, that may change in the future, depending on where his favorite little pet project takes him down the road.]

Live in a lot of different societies with that many years under you, I suppose. I wasn't so fortunate, myself.

[thecoolerloki]

Do you attempt to kill one another? That's usually what we do.

No one is better off for having lived in Jotunheim.

[forasecond]

I've only come across another me once, but... yeah. That's pretty much exactly how it went down.

I'm not familiar with it, but I might argue it, if there were people. Food. Anything besides desolation.

[But you know- maybe it's just a matter of perspective and opinion.]

[thecoolerloki]

It is a frigid wasteland and the only people are frost giants, who live short and meaningless lives, refusing to learn from their past failures. They value physical strength and size alone.

Oh, and the food sucks.

[forasecond]

I ended up... some version of okay in the end, I guess. But I think there are some pretty large swaths of the 45 years I was stuck I would have taken shitty people to none at all.

Better than cockroaches and spoiled canned goods?

[thecoolerloki]

A post-apocalypse situation then? I could go either way between that and Jotunheim, seeing as cockroaches are far better conversation partners than my father.

[forasecond]

Exactly that.

No one ever wants to win the shitty father lottery, but a lot of us do anyway, huh?

[thecoolerloki]

Aye, I won it twice.

[forasecond]

Well, shit.

[thecoolerloki]

I did warn you that you could not beat me in terms of complicated circumstances.

[forasecond]

It's practically cheating when you're comparing thousands of years vs not even a century, though. Not even really a contest, just based on numbers.

[thecoolerloki]

But my thousands of years are equivalent to a century. Stories don't work off of numbers and science, after all.

Think of it this way, I was born to a terrible father. He died when I was a child, and I was adopted into another family. Unfortunately, that family also had its issues, to say the least.

What does any of that have to do with the literal years? I was a child for all of it, younger than I am now.

[forasecond]

Stories don't, but statistics do. Longer life, more experience. More wins, more triumphs. More tragedies, more trauma. It's pretty simple.

Not that I think those things are...best judged by numbers, and I'm not really gunning for the gold in the Trauma Olympics, here. I just like numbers better. They're easy. They're clean.

[thecoolerloki]

But it's only longer by your scale, by your observation of the story. Otherwise it simply is, and it is not easy or clean.

I am only thousands of years old because humans decided I must be. It's not as if I have a Midgardian birth certificate.

[forasecond]

You’re the one that told me arguably thousands of years old. I’m only going by what you told me yourself— I had no reason to expect that otherwise.

But I’ll give you this much: None of it is actually easy. But us humans? We're pretty good at lying to ourselves.

[thecoolerloki]

I'm the god of lies. So duh.

[forasecond]

Makes me wonder how many of the myths that get passed around about you are true.

[thecoolerloki]

🤫